Friday, September 2, 2011

Something to roll your eyes at.

This started as me just posting a simple copy/paste of a chat log for a friend who happened to be curious about what happened. After all, sharing logs in SL itself is against the mighty Terms of Use, and as we all know, nobody would ever violate that.

This blog doesn't get a lot of traffic, it's largely unadvertised and only a few circles of people visit, but that's perfectly fine with me, I never intended for it to be anything more. The primary reason this blog was made was for me to have a place to put tutorials for people who ask me how to do something. For that, it works quite well, but it also makes for a decent place for me to rant when I feel the need.

Now, this post isn't entirely about the guy in the chat log, but it did happen to stir me enough to rant on a long time annoyance of mine and many other women. I've replaced his name in the logs so that this comes off as less of a personal attack on some idiot guy and more like the rant that it is. To get to the meat of this post, skip past log below.

This was completely out of nowhere, enjoy :P.

Chat Log:

[19:29] JustAnother DumbGuy: so I have something that I need to confront you about
[19:29] Vaelissa Cortes: I hope it's nothing too big, I don't really need more drama at the moment.
[19:30] JustAnother DumbGuy: I'm not about to profess my undying love for you if thats what you're worried about
[19:30] Vaelissa Cortes: Not exactly!
[19:31] JustAnother DumbGuy: yeah
[19:32] JustAnother DumbGuy: It is drama. but in a very stress free way. I dont care either way,
[19:32] JustAnother DumbGuy: I'm basicly at this point 100% convinced that you're a guy
[19:33] JustAnother DumbGuy: I dont care. I have no motive to tell anyone or make a thing about it, I still want to be your friend.
[19:33] JustAnother DumbGuy: you can even deny it
[19:34] JustAnother DumbGuy: but the point is... I'm not stupid
[19:34] Vaelissa Cortes: Well, that's interesting, but it's also not the case at all. If that's what you want to think, so be it, you have no basis to go by since you hardly know me. It doesn't change the truth.
[19:34] JustAnother DumbGuy: k
[19:34] Vaelissa Cortes: So, have fun with that.
[19:34] JustAnother DumbGuy: then we can go on that
[19:34] JustAnother DumbGuy: you misunderstand me
[19:35] JustAnother DumbGuy: I wont have fun with any of it
[19:36] JustAnother DumbGuy: I guess you cant see it from my point of view
[19:36] JustAnother DumbGuy: thats fine
[19:36] Vaelissa Cortes: No, I don't. You haven't said much from your point of view.
[19:36] Vaelissa Cortes: We hardly speak, you know next to nothing about me, so I don't see the logic.
[19:37] JustAnother DumbGuy: no logic
[19:37] JustAnother DumbGuy: hunch
[19:37] Vaelissa Cortes: that makes even less sense :P
[19:37] JustAnother DumbGuy: I'm more ray stanz, less egon spengler
[19:38] JustAnother DumbGuy: it endeed does make less sense
[19:38] JustAnother DumbGuy: indeed
[19:38] JustAnother DumbGuy: *
[19:39] Vaelissa Cortes: I figured that was what you meant
[19:39] JustAnother DumbGuy: thanks
[19:39] JustAnother DumbGuy: anyway
[19:39] JustAnother DumbGuy: so talk to me
[19:39] Vaelissa Cortes: About what?
[19:40] JustAnother DumbGuy: about your opinion on world economics?
[19:40] Vaelissa Cortes: boring subject
[19:40] JustAnother DumbGuy: =/
[19:41] JustAnother DumbGuy: I was being facetioud
[19:41] JustAnother DumbGuy: s
[19:42] JustAnother DumbGuy: no desire to speak to me now?
[19:43] Vaelissa Cortes: If you have something interesting to say, go for it. Otherwise, I don't appreciate unfounded accusations completely out of the blue from somebody I considered a friend.
[19:44] JustAnother DumbGuy: I'm sorry that what I said ended up hurting you, I never meant to
[19:44] JustAnother DumbGuy: BUT
[19:44] JustAnother DumbGuy: I stand by what I said
[19:45] Vaelissa Cortes: I'm not hurt so much as surprised by what kind of person you're turning out to be.
[19:45] JustAnother DumbGuy: how so?
[19:46] JustAnother DumbGuy: I think that ive been 100% honest with you
[19:48] Vaelissa Cortes: Well, as I said, we don't talk but briefly once every few weeks tops, you know next to nothing about me except for the small fraction I choose to share here in SL, I keep to myself, don't flirt with you, don't want anything from you or try to take advantage of anyone. I log in to build and relax largely by myself, and now it comes across as if you've suddenly decided to start obsessing over me or something.
[19:51] Vaelissa Cortes: So it seems as if you're unnecessarily putting too much thought into something that's a such trivial matter for no reason other than to satisfy your own random obsession.
[19:52] JustAnother DumbGuy: obsessing over you?
[19:52] JustAnother DumbGuy: I think thats a bit much
[19:52] Vaelissa Cortes: perhaps that's too strong of a word, but something like that.
[19:52] JustAnother DumbGuy: no
[19:52] Vaelissa Cortes: more like a random focused curiosity perhaps.
[19:52] Vaelissa Cortes: it doesn't really matter
[19:53] JustAnother DumbGuy: whatever
[19:53] Vaelissa Cortes: Anyway
[19:54] JustAnother DumbGuy: point is, you're a guy. I dont even care at all. thats the fucked up part. I couldnt care any less
[19:54] Vaelissa Cortes: The fact is, I'm not, think what you will.
[19:54] JustAnother DumbGuy: and its like I'm evil for even suggesting it
[19:54] Vaelissa Cortes: It's damn insulting is what it is.
[19:55] JustAnother DumbGuy: is it?
[19:55] Vaelissa Cortes: Do you honestly not understand people?
[19:55] JustAnother DumbGuy: ask yourself if I do
[19:55] Vaelissa Cortes: I don't think you do.
[19:56] JustAnother DumbGuy: think that then
[19:56] JustAnother DumbGuy: because I love you still
[19:56] JustAnother DumbGuy: you're my friend
[19:56] Vaelissa Cortes: whatever
[19:56] JustAnother DumbGuy: k
[19:56] Vaelissa Cortes: friends don't insult friends like that
[19:56] JustAnother DumbGuy: how did I insult you?
[19:57] Vaelissa Cortes: scroll up, you accused me of being something I'm not with zero basis.
[19:57] JustAnother DumbGuy: subjective
[19:58] JustAnother DumbGuy: as far as my accusatory statements
[19:58] Vaelissa Cortes: hardly
[19:58] JustAnother DumbGuy: they arent hostile
[19:58] JustAnother DumbGuy: let me ask you something
[19:59] JustAnother DumbGuy: you know what
[19:59] JustAnother DumbGuy: nevermind
[19:59] JustAnother DumbGuy: beta state
[20:00] JustAnother DumbGuy: yer offensive
[20:00] JustAnother DumbGuy: and mad
[20:01] Vaelissa Cortes: I'm annoyed at somebody I thought was a calm, nonjudgemental person I could actually talk to coming off like yet another of the endless amounts of idiot men I have to deal with on a regular basis.
[20:03] JustAnother DumbGuy: thats where you fucked up then. I am a calm, nonjudgemental person YOU just freaked out
[20:03] JustAnother DumbGuy: so calm down
[20:04] Vaelissa Cortes: I'm being calm enough, try reading it in a calmer voice in your head or something. Apparently you don't understand women very well or understand how false accusations from friends can get on a person's bad side.
[20:04] JustAnother DumbGuy: I'm 34 and I get women just fine
[20:04] JustAnother DumbGuy: shall I wake up my GF and ask her ?
[20:05] Vaelissa Cortes: I don't really care, this conversation has dragged on too long.
[20:05] JustAnother DumbGuy: YOU
[20:05] JustAnother DumbGuy: are aiming your frustrations
[20:05] JustAnother DumbGuy: at me
[20:06] Vaelissa Cortes: I attempted to answer your "how so" question
[20:06] JustAnother DumbGuy: you apparently failed
[20:06] Vaelissa Cortes: Seems so, oh well
[20:06] JustAnother DumbGuy: so why this level of denial?
[20:07] JustAnother DumbGuy: this is like moon landing level of conspiracy theory shit
[20:07] Vaelissa Cortes: what denial? That I'm not a guy? I just tried to answer your "how so" question a bit too in-depth, I think.
[20:07] Vaelissa Cortes: It's really not hard to grasp though
[20:07] Vaelissa Cortes: I'm not going to argue with somebody on the internet who doesn't believe I am what I am. It's retarded, regardless of who it is.
[20:07] JustAnother DumbGuy: k lol
[20:08] Vaelissa Cortes: So goodbye, good luck with your business and what not.
[20:08] JustAnother DumbGuy: hey
[20:08] JustAnother DumbGuy: dont be like that. its not becomming of you
[20:08] JustAnother DumbGuy: is that how you want to be?
[20:09] JustAnother DumbGuy: seriously
[20:09] JustAnother DumbGuy: man or woman, are you a prick? or are you human?
[20:09] Vaelissa Cortes: As I said, I don't need more drama at the moment. You really need to sit back and think about what you're saying.
[20:10] JustAnother DumbGuy: I am thinking about it
[20:10] JustAnother DumbGuy: how man years has it been?
[20:10] Vaelissa Cortes: many?
[20:10] JustAnother DumbGuy: many*
[20:10] Vaelissa Cortes: I don't know, many I guess?
[20:10] JustAnother DumbGuy: look
[20:10] Vaelissa Cortes: and how many times have we actually spoken in those years? What? 10 times?
[20:10] JustAnother DumbGuy: stop taking it so seriously
[20:11] JustAnother DumbGuy: more
[20:11] JustAnother DumbGuy: see
[20:11] JustAnother DumbGuy: the part that truly amuses me
[20:12] JustAnother DumbGuy: this will all go away
[20:12] JustAnother DumbGuy: but you'll remember this
[20:12] JustAnother DumbGuy: and be all mad
[20:12] Vaelissa Cortes: It comes off as a personal attack, you don't know me or know how much I'm tired of this kind of bullshit from people, mostly all men, you don't know how much I despise men in general and how I just would like to be able to have a friend that doesn't care what I am and who doesn't see things that aren't there.
[20:13] Vaelissa Cortes: If you ever want to apologize, send an IM to Vaelia Nitely. In the meantime, I'm muting you, goodbye.

Really? Not becoming of me? It's funny how people I've rarely spoken to and have shared very little with think they know anything about what kind of person I am. I won't remember this and be mad, I don't stay mad for very long since I am the type to mute and move on. I will, however, think back on this and giggle with my friends over yet another idiot who made a fool of himself. As for the apology, I don't care either way.

Most of that conversation was spent wondering what his point was and why he suddenly decided to start that with me out of the blue. It was only near the end where I started actually getting upset, despite how earlier text was interpreted.

I don't think he understands that suddenly deciding I'm a guy doesn't make me one. He can keep thinking that all he likes though, I really am fine with that. I still have a body that says otherwise and the people who actually mean something to me know otherwise. Nothing any dumb ass on the internet says will ever change this.

Anyway, here's the main rant...

I honestly think that many men on SL, various MMOs and online in general are missing the part of their brain that lets them see what complete assholes they're being. They just don't seem capable of grasping it.

This sort of thing is nothing new to me, but I do find it unfortunate that it sometimes takes a while for that side of a person to come out, as was the case for the individual above. Let me stress that over the years, I've gotten a *lot* IMs from horny menfolk who are quick to call me a guy the moment they understand I have no interest in them. Or, often if I just don't feel like I need to validate myself for some random stranger I just met on the internet. It is an issue with Second Life in particular due to the types of people it attracts.

Still, the guy above has never really been the sort of pers...

[3:41] JustAnother DumbGuy: to be honest, I'm just as sexually motivated as any guy out there.
[3:41] JustAnother DumbGuy: and also to be honest, you sexually motivate me lol
[3:44] JustAnother DumbGuy: the problem that I see is that since I can remember, you fit exactly the type of woman that attracts me.

Oh, right, I had forgotten about all that.

...but back to the point I'm trying to make.

See, the thing is, proving I am who I am is the easy part, but my problem is I shouldn't feel like I have to do so. Women shouldn't have to feel forced to verify that they are who say they are, especially when they've never expressed any interest at all in being anything other than a normal friend. Gender should not matter. I tend to be rather private, so unless I'm comfortable around somebody, I'll only reveal the most basic of details. Who are they to make any sort of demands? What's in it for me? Getting to talk to a shallow, desperate and lonely guy? I'm not seeing the motivation.

Why should women exclusively have to submit themselves to the approval of random males, just so said male can feel comfortable having a conversation, regardless of its context? We certainly don't owe it to anyone.

Is it that these guys are just insecure? Do they all have the mentality of a homophobic little boy and want to feel comfortable about that feeling in their pants they get when they're around the opposite sex? Are they really that desperate to flirt? What makes them assume we would want to with them in the first place?

Can't women just log in, talk, play a game and have fun without being pestered by retards? That's really all I want to do. Automatically assuming everyone is male is insulting, women make up a significant portion of the population, you're bound to run into one of us sometime!

I've also noticed that the more knowledgeable a woman is about "geeky" topics, and the more intelligent she is in general, the more likely it is that her gender will come into question...and if, god forbid, a woman happens to be comfortable with her sexuality, it's an instant red flag.

Do so many guys just expect women to be both dumb and prudish? Times have changed, women have far more interests than they used to and know just as much or more than many men who share the same interests. The pathetic thing is, this intimidates many men; they don't want a woman to be smarter than them in any area. They need to feel like they have some sort of dominance, that they're somehow better. It's primitive and stupid.

That, "there are no women on the internet" thing got old a long time ago. Many guys seem to think it's a cute thing to say any time they see a woman online, but chances are she is tired of hearing this every time she meets a new group of people. Knock it off, you're not being original or funny, it's not cute and makes you look like an ass.

If a guy can prove he isn't an immature, insecure, homophobic little prick that doesn't focus on gender (you know, an actual man), I'll happily prove I'm female. In the meantime, women shouldn't have to validate themselves for anyone.

1 comment:

Maggie said...

I know that was a hideously frustrating conversation to have, but it's hilarious to read!

I don't think I've gotten accusations of being a guy. They wouldn't make sense now, given the sewing blog with pictures, but it was back before I started sewing that I was actually active in SL. Of course, most of the time I'm a dragon hatchling, which doesn't open up many opportunities for accusations either way.
Moral of the story: if you don't want to be accused of being a guy, don't look too much like a girl. ;P